The very first thing I talked to God about when I moved into my apartment was how strange it felt to have yet another place to call home – but still, nothing was permanent.  I don’t imagine living in the same apartment for very long and the only reason I live in Lynchburg currently is because I am temporarily a student here.  I told God how much I couldn’t wait until I could just settle down and have a home of my own that I could stay in for a good amount of time.  His response?  ”That won’t happen on your side of Heaven.”

Disappointment.

You see, I grew up in the same house for the first 19 years of my life!  So I’ve grown a bit attached to a physical place.  But honestly, when I imagine doing the work I know I’m called to do, I knew that answer was coming.  I know I’m not going to be able to stay in the same place for too long.  God will have me uprooted and moving on to a new place before I even get settled.

But…

I still have Heaven to look forward to.  Jesus himself is there right now preparing a place for me.  He knows me better than anyone, so I can’t imagine how wonderful it’ll be.  And that is where I will stay for eternity.  Eternity is a concept I can’t even wrap my head around.  I’ll never be able to comprehend it.  But I have that to look forward to.  That promise of God is reliable.  That promise isn’t changing.

I also crave consistency in relationships.  When plans change at the last minute, it really throws me off.  And people are the most volatile, because there are just far too many variables in everyone’s life to keep track of.  But I just want to know that someone will be going with me everywhere I ever go.  I want at least one constant who will be there every day.  I want someone I can count on, undeniably.  But people always, always let you down.  Good intentions aren’t enough.  You will call and there will be no answer.  You will need them and they’ll be too busy.  You will make every effort to get in touch, and none of it will be reciprocated.

But…

God is that constant.  His name’s Emmanuel, which means God with us.  That is a promise that is built right into who God is.  It’s his character.  It always has been and always will be.  He lives in all believers and He knows us better than we know ourselves.  He prays for us with words we can’t even comprehend, when we seriously don’t even know how to pray.  There is nowhere we will ever go where He won’t follow, even if we wanted to get rid of Him.  He’s our comforter, our protector, our guide.  That’s as true today as it will be any day.  And because of what Christ accomplished on the cross, we now have the ability to commune directly with God any time we want, and He never grows tired of us.  His compassion for us is never-ending.  You will never call God and get voicemail.  He has felt all things we will ever feel.  He makes a way for us before we even know where we’re going.

There’s nothing but satisfaction in that.

My best friend is the same God I get to spend eternity with.

There’s no disappointment to be had if we put our trust in His promises and only His promises.

Tonight after some intense prayer time, I was all set to share with you how God had just rocked my world!  But I immediately felt convicted to keep it to myself.  I had to wonder why that would be a good idea.  Someone else could need to hear what I just heard!  But God really pressed on my heart that I was guilty of looking for the fruit of my prayers to be an epic blog rather than intimacy with Him.

Of course there will still be plenty of times where I need to share what I learn with people I care about.  But the goal of my quiet time shouldn’t ever be to hear a fresh word that’s going to speak to someone else.  Sometimes it’s just for the two of us.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.

So here I am, ironically blogging about not blogging about stuff.

valu-able, adj.
having monetary value
worth a good price
having desirable or esteemed characteristics or qualities
of great use or service

synonyms: dear, expensive, precious, premium, priceless, costly
antonyms: cheap, inexpensive

I love the fact that the first verse describing the Proverbs 31 Woman defines her worth and value.  Value is something that can only be attributed to her by her Creator.  The amount of thought and care that was involved in creating her is immediately evident.  Value is not something we can attain for ourselves; it’s given to us.  I need to keep this same posture of humility when studying all the aspects of the Proverbs 31 Woman.  I cannot develop outstanding character by my own effort.  It is the work of the Spirit in me that transforms my heart.  I know that, “he who began a good work in [me] will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 1:6)

It is important that I acknowledge my value in Christ.  But it is also vital to “think of [myself] with sober judgment.” (Romans 12:3)  I cannot increase my value with good works.  There is nothing I can do to lower the price God had to pay for my life.  It was Christ’s blood, or I’d still be a slave to sin.

Lord, thank you for bringing me to a place of brokenness and freeing me.  The harder I tried, the worse off I was.  There was nothing I could ever do to earn what was given freely to me.  You get all the credit for my value, and for every other good thing in me.  May the difference you make in my life be evident to everyone who knows me so that the grace you poured out on me doesn’t end here.

1. Watching others attain what you hope to have one day.  I think I’ve earned the right to speak about this in the past year.  I have often felt like I have been watching from a safe distance while God does amazing things in the lives of almost everyone around me.  What we forget when we see this, though, is that these people have probably put in the time and preparation already… The same preparation we are tempted to neglect.  We must not let this become a foothold.  It is too easy to become resentful, bitter and covetous when we are in this season.  A sure way for the enemy to stir up bitterness is to convince us that those who have what we desire are somehow responsible for our having not yet attained it.  That makes no sense on paper, but it is in our nature to seek to blame others rather than to take responsibility and accept the season we are in.
2. Getting a taste of what’s to come.  I have watched so many people get a taste of the kind of ministry they hope to do one day, only to be paralyzed once they are required to prepare any further.  Students here at Liberty will go on a missions trip over break and come back to school completely depressed over having to end their time there.  It is easy to go to a brand new city of people you feel burdened for and labor there for a month.  What we forget is that it takes preparation to end well once you’ve been there any longer than that.  Yes, we must “run in such a way as to get the prize.”  But burn-out quickly catches up to us when we continue to run without having fueled ourselves.  So why would God allow us to get a taste if it can result in depression?  Because it is meant to plant seeds of vision that will encourage us in the right direction.
3. Being naturally talented.  Not every season of productivity is preceded by a season of preparation.  But every season of supernatural productivity is preceded by a season of preparation.  What we forget is that our natural abilities can be our biggest obstacle to giving everything to God.  We can get so far in our own gifting, but relying on our own strength never ends well or gives glory to God.  Jim Cymbala has said, “I despaired at the thought that my life might slip by without seeing God show himself mightily on our behalf.”  It is just not enough that we would preform well in this life; if we reach the end and aren’t able to reflect on what God did, we have failed to see but a fraction of all He had waiting for us.

The story of David’s anointing in 1 Samuel 16 continues to resonate with me when I think about preparation.  Samuel anointed David, then David proceeded to return to the sheep he shepherded previously.  That’s got to be frustrating, but because he was a man after God’s own heart, we can learn a thing or two from the way he handled it.  He didn’t have all the answers, but he did the next right thing in front of him… And that was to continue doing well the job he already had.  He proved himself faithful shepherding a flock of sheep and was prepared to shepherd the nation of Israel.  He was faithful with little, so he was prepared to be faithful with much.  If we attempt to skip this season of preparation, we won’t be ready for what’s waiting for us on the other side.

Matthew Barnett said it well in this post on his blog from last week… “Life’s greatest moments are not necessarily when we are in a perfect season but when we actually live in our current season and learn from it.”  Good coaches encourage the quitters to quit.  God will allow us to be tempted to quit, because he is separating those who are willing to prepare from those who will fail to ever reach their full potential.

1. 1 Samuel chapter 14 is talking about Jonathan’s daring plan to attack the Philistine army all alone with just his armor bearer by his side.  The rest of Saul’s army was honestly just hanging out under a tree, but unlike his father, Jonathan knew that God promised to back them up against any army that stood in their way.  So he and his one buddy climbed these crazy cliffs and proceeded to take down 20+ Philistines all by themselves.  But verse six always had me confused.  It reads, “Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men.  Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf.  Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.”
2. Daniel chapter 3 tells of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who refused to bow down to King Nebuchadnezzar’s gold statue.  The king got so mad that he ordered for them to be thrown into a furnace if they wouldn’t bow down.  This is easily one of my favorite stories from the Old Testament, but verses 17 & 18 again just seem so strange to me: “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us.  He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty.  But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”